The Knitterly Hooker

Posts Tagged ‘worth’

Relieved

In community challenges, knitting on March 12, 2014 at 10:57 pm

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Have you ever felt relieved that you never knit for someone?

For me to knit anything for anyone is a process. I gotta feel you out first; I have to be really moved in my spirit. I actually get this feeling a lot for different things…I don’t always listen, though, but I should because it is always 100% right…without fail. Note to self: Hence forth, listen. Seriously.

I read before somewhere that “you should stop crossing oceans for people who won’t jump a puddle for you.” That’s the truth ain’t it?! “Yes the hell it is!” is the answer that should be coming out your mouth right now!

To me, knitting for someone is like giving them your kidney. It’s that serious. Yes it is. Imma tell you why… Knitting is an act of embedding your very energy of that exact moment into that piece with every movement of the needle. You’re embedding your good vibes and feelings into the item. With each knitted stitch,you’re knitting a smile into the work; you’re knitting warmth and care. Making hand knitted items tell that person they’re special, but if you have that thing that every knitter feels, that internal radar that makes you cringe… that makes you say, “No sweater for you!” Knitted items are a reward for good behavior…for someone consistent, not a sometimish person. Pulease!

If I had knit this time around, I wouldn’t have felt good. It would have felt so false, that it would have sickened my stomach. That’s some bad juju that was just creeping its way into my life that just plain don’t need to be there! I would have had so much resent and contempt if I did any knitting; investing time and energy in exchange for such ingratitude, arrogance, false sense of entitlement, selfishness, narcissism, disrespect and control…The list can go on.

I thought about it though. Knitting. I did think about it. And I almost did it too. Almost. But almost doesn’t count.

I’m sure all this sounds terribly selfish, but I suppose at this moment the feeling of selfishness is inconsequential. Maybe I wasn’t being selfish enough. That’s the problem. My heartstrings were tugging on this and I’m glad I did not do any knitting.

Au revoir petit garçon. Temps de grandir. Bonne chance.

Anyway. Hmph.

I.am.relieved.
I bounce back. I always do. Believe that.

My life goes on and something big is about to happen!
It’s going down! Deadline June 1, 2014. That’s all I’m saying and I hope I make it!

And after that, there will still be bigger things beyond my wildest dreams; and then and only then,will I knit.

Who do you knit for, if anyone? Why or why not?